We all go through peaks and valleys here and there. I know I hit my own little slump in the first quarter of this year when the wedding buzz fizzle away. I just couldn’t quite navigate and clarify what all my new goals were going to be. I also had my head wrapped around the wrong idea of taking care of myself. Vanity is fleeting. The happiness and satisfaction of it burns as quickly as a sparkler meant to dazzle you momentarily.
I had to purge unhealthy thoughts, habits, and ideas that weren’t going to provide a genuine deep-rooted wealth of happiness. It was rough, and I was pretty uninspired. I was just straight up tired. I was burnt out, wanted to sleep, and stop making decisions about anything. I’m now going through a slow reformation of myself and balancing skin-deep and soul-deep beauty.
I’ve been in a constant observation of the world around me. What we notice, what we judge, is a mirror to seeing ourselves. Whatever we admire…reflects our own potential. We each have the tools to manifest what we’re admiring. This is why thoughts and ideas become habits that can become character, and you should be mindful of the seeds you plant in your head. Dislikes are also reflections of things we have the ability to be, also. They are things we don’t like about ourselves. The practice to your mindset is to identify ways you are what you’re judging, own it, and find how it serves you purposefully. It also helps to quit doing things you don’t realize you’re doing.
Lately, what irks me are people who don’t have a follow-through, let fear/over-judgement close their minds to new experiences, and people who talk and dream more than they work to make things happen and come up with excuses whey they didn’t get where they want to be, or do what they want to do.
Life had felt amazing during all the times I didn’t give it a second thought and held myself back. When I wanted to chase the Autumn in Montreal. When I watched my sisters dancing, eyes closed, satisfied with life at the club while running on 3 hours of sleep. When I jumped off the boat in Bora Bora with Anthony unknowing what was underneath us. Or wading shark infested waters holding Anthony’s hand. Or giving into being submerged underwater after a sharp right turn on a jet ski. Or piercing my ear three times.
Life’s incredibly short, as it constantly reminds me. I understand periods of not feeling motivated. But pick up where you left off, and chase you dreams. Make it real. Don’t be scared, and if you are, then be scared – but do it anyway. And burn, because that’s life. It’s uncomfortable. It burns. But when you suffer meaningfully, all of it is worthwhile. So. Worthwhile.
Quit daydreaming. Don’t just survive. Thrive.